Dave not-Dave

I thought I'd tell you all about my barber....Dave.

Since moving to the south, I've seen a sharp rise in the cost of everyday items like hair removal, air, swiss muesli etc. I refuse to go to some 'hair salon' and pay a 5 figure sum for some college dropout who's called himself Miguel to remove hair from my head. As a result of my pikeyism© my hair is getting quite long and I'm starting to look like the mushroom character from MarioKart.

Which brings me on to Dave...I'm waiting to get my haircut by Dave. Now in my home town there are many barber shops (and brothels, some offering both services) but I've always had my hair cut by Dave. His shop (imaginatively titled 'Dave's') was like the land that time forgot. Every few years he'd pay some dodgy polish character to re-decorate, but the atmosphere was always the same. For £2 you could get a cut and blow (dry), be told why we should keep immigrants out and how the french are garlic sniffing reprobates by a chap who looked like an obese Christopher Walken..while all this was going on you got to watch a pirate video. I remember one time, he got on the subject of some middle eastern country...this got him so upset, he took 3 hours to cut my hair and I managed to watch the whole of BraveHeart.


TIP: Don't write to-do notes on the back of your hand with a silver nitrate pen...because seeing the words 'buy milk' for the next 70 years or so is not top of the pops.

What a weekend I had, still moving house with the help of my for all you car mechanics out there, when your car starts to make a rumbling driving on rumble strips on the motorway it's a sign that your wheel bearings are not feeling too well and if you continue much further (in my case with half a house in the boot) you will discover why the robin reliant has the third wheel in the middle.

Mac as a web server revisited

To recap on the issue I had in my presentation re: "How to turn your Mac into a database-driven web server"

at the June meeting, I had got to the stage of installing mySQL and configuring it via the terminal, but I could get no PHP scripts to access the database do to a conflict with "old" password hashing and the "new-style" 4.1.x passwords that mySQL uses.

Shakira CPC 464

Is it just me or does Shakira sound more and more like machine code?

I swear my old Amstrad CPC 464 (with green screen...perfect for playing snooker or pool...not) would do a perfect rendition of her latest drivel whilst loading Silkworm.

Aided by my gay lover, we sort of moved house at the weekend in a van that looked something like a cross between a brick and a rollerskate. I say sort of because there is still some stuff left, I mean we packed the van like level 10 Tetris masters but couldn't get all my other halfs bits in there, she's been suffering from cleptomania for over 10 years now and the doctor says it's terminal.

How Google helps me...

I have recently working with some new tools to work with Google's services, which ultimately should bring more traffic to my site and also earn me loads of money. Ideally, both simultaneously.

First, Google Adsense. I mentioned that I sussed it last week, for the most part, but also that I live in fear that ads that compete with my own site would appear on my site. For example, when I talk in a blog posting (like what you're reading now) or when I talk of web hosting or web design and build, will competitors' ads appear? Look around this page. You might see ads about free blogs, free web hosting or free web design and build. Great. I'm sure it's excellent value, but you know I'm better than all of them. I simply am not stupid enough nor rich enough to buy my own Adwords.

So, how much have I lost in this process? It's hard to tell specifically, but maybe not too hard. So far, one person out of the 120-180 visitors that appear each day over the past week has clicked on a Google ad. I really hope it wasn't for hosting or blogging or something like that, and that the person didn't subsequently find that they could get for free the services that I normally charge several tens of thousand of your earth pounds for.

The benefit that I've gained by the one click by the way, is about 47p or so. Don't tell the taxman.

Secondly, Google Sitemaps. Google has this great new way of getting you to supply them with pointers about what you'd like them to index on your site with some indication from you about how often the content changes. It's one of those win-win situations where the effort you make to help Google's bots to crawl your site, should help ensure you get listed in their pages appropriately. From Google:


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