Speedzheimer's

TIP: Don't write to-do notes on the back of your hand with a silver nitrate pen...because seeing the words 'buy milk' for the next 70 years or so is not top of the pops.

What a weekend I had, still moving house with the help of my mum...now for all you car mechanics out there, when your car starts to make a rumbling noise..like driving on rumble strips on the motorway it's a sign that your wheel bearings are not feeling too well and if you continue much further (in my case with half a house in the boot) you will discover why the robin reliant has the third wheel in the middle.

I love my workhorse car, a Peugeot 306 r2d2xtdt, what all the letters mean I have no idea, it's a French car I'll say no more. It has a lovely tan plastic interior with tan seats, carpets, roof lining..as I pointed out to Richard the other day 'it's like driving around in a caramac bar'©. So far it hasn't let me down apart from the usual flat battery, electrics problems because the French decided that electricity would travel better along cotton and cheesestring rather than conventional copper.

Anyway, I called the AA whilst driving, telling them 'I haven't broken down yet, but I will do in about 15 miles' 15 miles was the distance to the services on the M6 btw. And so began my 5-6 hour journey on the back of a transporter...the things a mancunian will do to save petrol.

The journey was fairly uneventful, apart from the last leg where 'Ron' the driver (he might not have been called Ron, but he should have been..I don't know why) was hurtling along country roads at 1am with my car bouncing around on the back. This wouldn't have been too worrying I suppose if it wasn't for the fact he was having txt sex with a married woman who (and I quote) 'Needs a good servicing and can't get hold of me until her husband is in bed'.

While I was being driven home I had time to think about many interesting things, curing world hunger, speed dating for alzheimer's sufferers...you know the usual. I'm not sure about the world hunger but I think there's some mileage in the speed dating, the medium is perfect for anyone with memory loss, I even have a slogan... 'Speedzheimer's...because 3 minutes is all you'll remember'. What do you think?

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